Today, I could use some shelter . . . so I'm having a Shelter Pale Ale

Tonight, we went to Indiana for my stepdad Bill's retirement party. He is retiring from BP (formerly Amoco) oil refinery after 25-ish years of work. BP stands for British Petroleum, and coincidentally it also stands for my stepdad, whose name is Bill Piechota. And now BP and BP are parting ways. Bill is retiring a bit early due to some convoluted money thing where he will get more money now than if he retired two years from now, and also to take care of my mother. My mother has congestive heart failure and is retaining fluid like nobody's business. And she seems to have a bunch of other issues, mostly heart related. She went into cardiac arrest five or six years ago, and then four years ago she was diagnosed with and battled breast cancer. It's a bad combination -- turns out chemotherapy is extremely cardiotoxic. She got through the cancer, but she has had a rough road ever since.

My mother's and my relationship has always had its ups and downs, probably like most women's relationships with their (opinionated, controlling, stubborn) mother. I have to say, though, that it is really hard to see her this way -- frail, barely able to walk, confused -- she can't even remember recipes! Not at all the big strong German woman who used to insist that we rearrange furniture in the middle of the night. It's really, really weird and harder than I thought, and probably harder than I think, as I am busy even now tamping down the feelings with alcohol.

I chose a Shelter Pale Ale from Dogfish Head, because I couldn't wait to get back tonight to the SHELTER of my home and hearth. Well, we don't really have a hearth. But we will someday. Shelter Pale Ale has not been available in Illinois for a few years -- it is their pretty-straightforward-but-delicious-and-well-executed American Pale, brewed with Delaware barley and hopped with Willamette and Columbus. These hops have a much less astringent, much milder quality than the familiar citrusy Cascade hop. This is a fairly malty pale ale, nicely balanced with just a touch of hop bitterness.

I should have gone out and gotten my mom some Scotch tonight. After the day she had today, she really wanted a drink. So I am thinking of her tonight as I drink my beer, and hope she can get some sleep.